New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
