Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I stole a fireplace last night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
