I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
