I hate your face
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
