I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
