**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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