piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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