you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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