My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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