I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
