How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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