Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
