Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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