haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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