I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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