Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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