In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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