Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
