I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
