It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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