i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
