I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
