I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
