I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
