I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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