So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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