Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
