so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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