these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
