ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
