Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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