I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
