Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
