she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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