Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
