quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
