he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
