I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
