I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
