I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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