You're so nebulous sometimes
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
