the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
