Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
