Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
