Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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