The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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