He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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