ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
