I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
