So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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