Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
