did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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