If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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