don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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