Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
