I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
