8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
