she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
