If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
