i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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