So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
