does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
