hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
