Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
